Poor Vriska.

\Yes, my good sir, there are two Gamzees.

And this was from a joke where my friend and I were talking about Tavros and Gamzee filling buckets {Crack pairings ftw} and she typed just like Gamzee typed, so I said, “Gamzee x Gamzee? Lawl.” And so the joke Gamzee x Tavros x Gamzee arrived.
I actually finished this a long while ago, just never got to uploading it…
These bitches belong to Hussie

Hey sorry that I couldn’t post this in the Ask Box since Tumbler put a character limit on that thing. But I really wanted to share a Horror Story with y’all. I hope you don’t mind. This is a horror story concerning myself at a convention, dressed as the Wayward Vagabond being deluded into the horrible misconception that everyone in the HS fandom is somewhat normal; a delusion that was shattered entirely when I was picked up and forcibly swung around by a man dressed as Nepeta, thus fostering my fear of the Homestuck fandom in general. I apologize for the boring introduction and length of this post. Also I might of submitted this twice on accident. 

So anyway, last year for AX my three friends decided, much like the majority of everyone else at the convention, to cosplay Homestuck. They all worked on their costumes together and they looked pretty decent for the most part. I initially didn’t cosplay with them partly because I’m more of a casual fan and don’t care that much about it, and partly because I had heard some of the horror stories about the Homestuck fandom…and generally wanted to keep my distance. So long story short I started to regret this decision in the long run, simply because everything my friends did was Homestuck related and I felt a little left out. Knowing that they were going to go to three different HS gatherings the next day, and because I wanted to spend time with my buddies, I went home that night and fashioned for myself a semi-closet Wayward Vagabond costume from stuff I had lying around (zentai suit, and a sheet of brownish fabric.) I looked impressive (if I do say so myself.) Now at that time I was aware that sometimes Homestuck fans get a bad rap for…questionable behavior, bad cosplay etc…so I was on my guard basically all day. Nonetheless I had a fun and encouraging time for the most part. I got stopped for a bunch of photos and the majority of the HS fans I met were very normal and polite people who thought I did an awesome job on my cosplay, even giving me my own time in the spotlight during one of the photo shoots-which I thought was very sweet of them. Overall it was a very positive experience, and I finally loosened up a little bit. BIG. MISTAKE. For it was then that I ran into a man I have aptly entitled “Crusty Nepeta.”  

While waiting for my friend to make a purchase at the artist alley, I suddenly felt someone come up really close behind me. And by too close, I mean like a massive breach of personal space. So next thing I know I was spun around by the shoulders and came face to…chest with this hulking, tall dude poorly cosplaying Nepeta Leijon in a horribly frightening and stereotypical fashion (no wig or horns, shitty face paint, taped on symbol etc…) Now it’s important to note that I’m only five feet tall, and weigh about 88 pounds. I’m tiny as hell, and this dude simply towered over me. I call him “Crusty Nepeta” for the fact that he somehow decided it would be a good idea to use acrylic paint instead of face paint or stage makeup for the troll skin, and it was just crusting up and peeling off. It looked terrible. I mean I get that sometimes good cosplay can be expensive or whatever but…holy shit……he looked like a flesh-diseased vagrant only remotely recognizable as a Homestuck character simply for the shittiness of the cosplay. So in an attempt to be cordial I said “Who are you cosplaying…exactly?” (I honestly couldn’t tell it was that bad.) Then he threw me this creepy-ass smile, only made creepier by the nasty acrylic paint peeling off of his face, and said “I’m male Nepeta-meow” then he purred, and told me some weird ass thing I’ve more or less forgotten now and held up his hand for me to give him a high five. I shakily obliged, and then he just awkwardly stood there with that creepy-ass look on his face…and didn’t say anything. After a few torturous and frightening moments my friend makes his purchase and said “Hey let’s go.” I left with my buddies, as awkward Nepeta still stared creepily at me as his face paint sloughed off of him some more. While it struck me as disturbing, I got on with my life and didn’t dwell on it. Everything else at the convention was fine and dandy until nightfall…when I ran into Crusty Nepeta for the second time….

 My friends dragged me by the hand to what seemed like the millionth HS gathering that day which took place outside the convention center, and at this point it was a little dark outside. Being a little farsighted and since it was kind of dark out there, I was having difficulty seeing out of my black zentai mask and my friend would lead me by the hand so I didn’t bump into anyone. From what I could tell the gathering looked pretty chill; everyone was just loitering around and talking or playing “ninja,” and my friend who had me by the hand all night went and jumped in the game.  I was so busy watching everyone play that I didn’t even notice when somebody came up directly behind me yet again and just stood there. When I finally realized somebody was there and turned around to see who it was I bumped right into them…I really couldn’t see. I could only make out the silhouette of a massive figure holding up its hand. Thinking whoever they were wanted a high five (I’d been dishing them out all day) I high fived them, but when I turned to go find my friend whoever it was wouldn’t let go. Alarmed, I turned back to face the person, and they said “Actually I was asking you to dance with me.” It was then that I recognized the person by their voice- Holy shit. It was Crusty Nepeta. I hadn’t recognized him since it was dark and he was no longer wearing his derpy hat…..or his shirt. I quick tried to release my hand but before I could old Crusty N. swooped me up into his arms and started thrashing me around in what I assume he perceived as some kind of airborne waltz…but what was really just an unwanted form of man handling on my part. He was actually hurting my arms pretty badly and wouldn’t let go when I struggled and kicked at him, and by then my friend had noticed what was going on and ran to help me out. I finally got my feet on the ground long enough to upper-cut Crusty in the throat hard enough  to get him to drop me. And I mean literally drop me on the floor.I even scraped up my knee in the process. So while I’m generally an agreeable person, I have my limits. Being accosted is definitely one of them. My friend got there in time to help me up from where Crusty Nepeta dropped me. Then I flipped a bitch. My friends had to drag me away from him. I can still remember Crusty Nepeta just standing there placidly like an asshole, like everything he just did was perfectly okay. I don’t know if he was just a dumbass or if he was legitimately trying to be in character. But whatever the case, manhandling people is definitely not okay. Later on we found out he grabbed another Homestuck cosplayer’s ass and told her “We should cosplay together sometime-meow.”

That’s why I keep my liking Homestuck on the down-low; because you never know when somebody like Crusty Nepeta’s just going to pick you up and manhandle you for it.

This is a story concerning myself dressed as the Wayward Vagabond being forcibly swung around by a man dressed as Nepeta, thus fostering my fear of Homestuck fans in general. I apologize for the boring introduction, it gets good I promise.

Last year for AX my three friends decided, much like everyone else at the convention, to cosplay Homestuck. They all worked on their costumes together and they looked pretty decent for the most part. Now at that point I wasn’t really into Homestuck and didn’t have enough money to make a costume that year, so I decided to be a little different from my friends and wear my Princess Mononoke costume which I had recently fixed up (the mask had been previously destroyed by a pack of marauding Hetalia fans at the last con I attended, but that’s another story….) and so that’s what I did. So long story short I started to regret this decision at the convention, simply because everything my friends did was Homestuck related and I felt like an odd duck. Knowing that they were going to go to three different HS gatherings the next day, and because I wanted to spend time with them, I went home that night and fashioned for myself a semi-closet Wayward Vagabond costume from stuff I had lying around. And it was really freaking awesome (if I do say so myself) for being done in one night. It was super fun and encouraging because I got stopped for a bunch of photos and the majority of the HS fans I met were very polite and thought I did an awesome job, and even gave me my very own photo shoot opportunity! Overall it was a very positive experience…until I ran into a freakish HS fan I have aptly entitled “Man Nepeta.” And this guy…I swear this guy is up there with the Bucket Spitters. While waiting for my friend to make a purchase at the artist alley, I suddenly felt someone come up really close behind me. Next I’m spun around by the shoulders by this hulking, tall dude cosplaying Nepeta in a horribly frightening and stereotypical fashion (no wig, grey acrylic paint instead of face paint, taped on symbol etc…) Now it’s important to note that I’m only five feet tall, and weigh about 88 pounds. I’m tiny as hell, and this dude simply towers over me. Then he throws me this creepy-ass smile which is only made creepier by the nasty acrylic paint peeling off of his face. He tells me something I’ve more or less forgotten now and then holds up his hand for me to give him a high five. I oblige, and then he just awkwardly stood there with that creepy-ass look on his face…and didn’t say anything. After a few torturous and frightening moments my friend makes his purchase and says “Hey let’s go.” So I left with my friends, with that awkward dude still staring at me. While that struck me as odd, I forgot about it and moved on with the convention. Everything was fine and dandy, until nightfall…My friends and I went to what seemed like the millionth HS gathering that day which took place outside the convention center, and at this point it was a little dark outside. Being a little farsighted, I was having difficulty seeing out of my black zentai mask in the dark. My friend would lead me by the hand so I didn’t bump into anyone and the gathering was pretty chill from what I could gather, everyone was just loitering around talking and or playing “ninja,” and my friend who had me by the hand all night went and jumped in the game.  I was so busy watching everyone play that I didn’t even notice when somebody came up directly behind me and stood there. When I finally noticed and turned around to see who it was I bumped right into them (I couldn’t see) and could really only make out a massive figure holding up its hand. Thinking whoever they were wanted a high five (I’d been dishing them out all day) I high fived them, but when I turned to go find my friend whoever it was wouldn’t let go. Alarmed, I turned back to face the person, and they said “Actually I was asking you to dance with me.” It was then that I recognized the person by their voice- Holy shit. It was Man Nepeta. I hadn’t recognized him since he was no longer wearing his derpy hat…..or shirt. I quick tried to release my hand but before I could Man Nepeta swooped me up into his arms and started thrashing me around in what I assume looked like some kind of airborne waltz…but what was really just an unwanted form of man handling. He was actually hurting my arms pretty badly, and by then my friend had noticed what was going on and ran to help me out. I had finally got my feet on the ground long enough to smack Man Nepeta really freaking hard and get him to drop me. And I mean literally DROP ME. ON THE GROUND. Now I’m generally a nice person, but I have my limits. Being accosted is definitely one of them. So I yelled “What the hell is your problem?!” To which Man Nepeta replied by standing there placidly with a dumbfounded look on his face. Like he hadn’t just done something extremely unreasonable. Then my friend helped me up and led me away from him.

And that’s why I keep my liking Homestuck on the down-low; because you never know when somebody like Man Nepeta’s just going to pick you up and manhandle you for it.

Dafaq?

lol

…k